releasetherapy.

i would really like to try and recount what's been going on these last few days.... but i can't. not because they're hard to explain or they're not important... but like... all that's in my brain is HIM. all that i can think about right now is HIM. and i've only gotten off the phone about 27 minutes ago (as of 9:33 pm), which leaves another 33 minutes until i call him back when his phone is charged, but my brain is just full of HIM. and it's ridiculous. and i love it. we hadn't spoken in almost two weeks and it felt like forever... like a lifetime. and i'd try to explain that i missed him to my friends and no one got it except for Renzy because he knew that feeling firsthand... he knew what it was like, he was going through it and he felt it. and he IMed me last night while i was out getting food and i thought i had missed him completely, that he had signed out... but he was still there... and then he called and we talked for hours. in fact, scratch that... most of the time, we didn't even talk... we just sat there, enjoying being connected again. we fell asleep like we used to... let our phones die... woke up every 15 minutes to a half an hour, made sure the other was still on the line, then drifted back to sleep. i missed that.... and he'll only be home for this weekend, then he's going back to live with his brother. i'm giving him my campus address so he can at least write to me... being apart from him for that week and change was hard... like... yeah, i was doing other things... yeah, i made new friends and everything... but all the while, i'd be missing him. and i'd be going through my phone book and run across his name... and i couldn't call him because he wasn't at that number anymore. and i'd be on the phone with Josh and he wouldn't get it. and after that argument we had the other day, we're just not clicking like before.... truth be told, we're drifting apart.... which i kinda knew would happen. i wasn't really one to believe in tarot cards, but alecia's always been dead-on with her readings. she said it'd be kinda cool at first.... then like a separation period to figure out personal stuff... and then the future card was family... togetherness... something like that. right now, though, i'm not too sure on where we are... i think it started because every time it'd get quiet on the phone, he'd be like "TALK..." and it'd been irking me, so i finally told him that i really hated when he said that and it didn't inspire me to talk about anything. apparently, he got mad over it or at least ticked off and it led to a half-serious argument. so yeah. whatever. it's time to call him back. =]


pAce.