thedustsettles.

writing 1 got cancelled this morning.
[ throws confetti in the air ]

SO! i'm here!
blawgin'. instead of doing work, lmao =/
:D!


yeah, he called me yesterday 'round 7 pm... i don't freak out no more when i don't hear from him all day. at least not like i did before. so he called me, but i was heading out the door to go to dinner with Monica. so i called him back when i got back in and he had that whole "i'm not saying something" vibe to his voice, but i let it slide... only asked him if something was wrong. so finally, after i'm asking something about him getting his cell phone back, he was like "so last night, you said you don't want me to go anywhere... so what was that about?". i'm like... =/ i knew he wouldn't forget. so i punk out again, trying to get the right words and all that kinda stuff, so he said i could either tell him now or after he got out the shower. i chose after, lol. so whatever whatever, he calls back and by then, i finally had my words together. so i tell him the EXTREMELY condensed version of my ventage post and he's like... "is that it?". so i go on and tell him that i kinda freak out everytime i realize that he means more to me than i originally thought he did. and he goes "it's scary, huh?" and i don't wanna admit it, but i do... because gotshammit, it is! and he was like "so... it might be safe to say that you're falling in love with me"... and i'm like "i don't know, i guess..." and i go into my rambling about how loving someone and saying i'm in love are completely separate, but not unrelated because technically i love EVERYONE in the general sense, but being in love is like... well, like this, i guess. and he said that he was falling for me, too, and that he doesn't just say "i love you" because it's something to say or for me, but because that's how he feels and how he wasn't going anywhere because he liked where he was in his life. it was a pretty good conversation. not eye-opening as much as... well, comforting, i guess.

then last night i had some weird ass dream about some ex-girlfriend of his visiting and her trying to fight me. somehow she had my family ready to fight me, too. =/ so i stormed off, sick of all of it, and found Kevin in his car and told him about it. but then the dream became about some group of renegade afterworld skateboarders.... yeah. no more Pocky before bed.

rehearsal last night was decent. i got another part as a beatboxer! :D! which is great because i never learned my parts for "If I Never Knew You" anyway and i didn't WANT to learn them. HA!

note to self:
add the following songs to blog playlist -
- can't let go x anthony hamilton
- come close to me x common
- prototype x outkast



peace.