waytoolate.

i'm exceedingly tired.

uhm.. so i'm mad excited about seeing him tomorrow? i suck... my eyes hurt.

i got a performance tomorrow, too.

man, what happened to me? like... i was reading Eric's blog (and i skimmed by Jay's, too?) and man... them and my brother Tykym. they're so serious about music. that's kinda general, but it's like... you get the feeling that it's what they wake up thinking about, it's what they do every single day, it's what their thoughts are centered around, it's how they make decisions. it's like... they HAVE to make it. they just HAVE to. and me? i feel like i was that way at one point when i was in the middle of HMDub about two years ago. all i wanted to do was write raps, perform, make the next mixtape. it was ALL i focused on. i was in school writing rhymes. i was constantly jotting down bars. maaaaaan, i remember going to Maryland for a performance just me and M.I.C. and we just RIPPED IT and even had a cypher after that and ripped THAT... little kids asking for autographs like we were somebody, lol, like f'real? my sixteenth birthday, i even performed just because i wanted to. people asked me what i was and i WAS a GOSPEL RAPPER, hands down, no ifs ands or buts about it. now? half the time i'm hoping people won't ask me to come perform. i tried to get back into it in STL, but, ehhh... i love being on stage, i love performing, but i feel really bad that i don't feel the same about rapping.

aye, eric, spar with me and help me get my rap mojo back, lol.


peace.