yeahsowhat.

"she got a lot of pretty, pretty boys
that she calls friends"

ooooh, so GUESS who got paid today? BIG BUCKS, TOO, SON! my last check from my summer job came in, which is great because now i know i'll have money on hand for when i need school supplies and need to ship my blender and coffee-maker to school. eesh. yeah, but i'm SO ready to go back to school. between my back and forthness with kevin, my boredness with nyc right now, and the fact that i'm sick of tired of sitting around doing nothing.... i could TOTALLY go for being back in Missouri. it's a little weird, though - i still got MAJOR stuff to do this week....

tomorrow - deposit my two paychecks. go see my grandmother at her house early. come back and go to the NAN to chill with Marshay until daddy or kim come to pick us up to go to dinner at the chinese buffet with them, my aunt, and my cousin.
wednesday - go to work with my dad. talk to the cute worker at the Den. hopefully purge or clean my room or the bathroom.
thursday - go to Mama Gross's house to pig out on food with Tymel. go to revival. clean?
friday - pack. do laundry. send my blender and coffee maker to WashU(?). whatever else i forgot.
saturday - GO TO WASHU! :D

yeah, that's what it's looking like.


"but it's cool, it could be better
i don't care, whatever"

uhmm... kevin's not going to hear any calls, text messages, or IMs from me. no reason in hitting up someone who doesn't wanna hit me up. i'm going to give him some time to settle himself in 'Bama, but honestly, without communication, there IS no relationship, so after a while i'mma be like... "uhmm... so, call me and let me know what's up with up with our relationship... like, are we still going out, are we friends?" because, although i honestly love him and i have him to thank for reminding me of what an amazing person i am.... i can't sit here putting out all this time and energy for someone who's not going to return it. that's just foolish. and he's ADMITTED that there's a lack of cmmunication and that he needs to make time for us... SO DO IT. that's the only thing i'm pissed about... if you KNOW that you need to make time to talk to me and such, then DO it instead of just feeling guilty. either that or let us go. [ sighs ] and i know how i work - if i'm not getting attention from him, then i'm gonna go find someone who WILL pay me attention. i'm not talking in a slutty type of way or anything, but like.... if he's not talking to me, then chances are i'm going to find someone else to hold a conversation with. like the dude at the Den today... now, he was cute and all, had some cool tastes in music, good conversation and whatnot... i think he's from Harlem, too... and that was cool because i was just talking. i like being able to talk about stuff with people, to tell stupid jokes, to rant and vent, to listen to problems, to trade ideas. and, as my boyfriend, i feel like we should be doing that. but if we're not, then idk. he's clearly occupied with other things, but damn, not a good morning? not a hey, are you alive? then there's a problem. who knows how all this will end up.


"she will and she can
find a man who knows her worth"



peace.