waitaminute.

i don't blog much anymore, eh? don't get on Yahoo either. lol, no one misses me 'cept punk-behind Ronald and that's 'cause he likes having someone to flirt with randomly. whatever. go back to the little issue you got with your ex girl and the chick you're messing with now. i'm really not the one, if you didn't know already.

spent the day busy. woke up because of the FREAKING fire drill, then took my behind BACK to sleep and got up again. ate lunch with Gerald, Cheeks, and Leatherwood. Allison came along later... stayed until my psych experiment at 3, got out like 3:40... found out my psych stats tutoring session was a FAIL, so i went to plan my next few semesters on a computer until rehearsal. rehearsed, had amazing fun, went to eat, then went to Areon's birthday party where i basically watched dudes play video games the whole time. the world keeps turning and all that good stuff...

the Visions concert is tomorrow. it's gonna be crazy. i'm trying to clear my mind before it and calm down and focus on worship, but i lost part of my voice tonight and my throat hurts. yuck.

i got on my older/alternative AIM account and realized that both of my exes were signed on. apparently, the most recent one's uncle just passed away. i'd say my condolences, just to be civil and whatnot, but we're not friends, so why bother? i think i try to operate constantly under the idea that they don't exist or they don't matter. i push them out of my mind and focus on anything else - homework, rehearsal, sleeping, Mob Wars, ANYTHING. and when i see things that remind me that they still exist, it's... weird. i'm not mad. not really sad... just kinda... idk. i wanna forget about it. i've been doing well without either of them, right? right.

i still wanna go home though. i miss my family something fierce. they can't come to the concert tomorrow -- they've NEVER been to a Visions concert. in fact, the only time they were ever here was when i moved in freshman year. i really wish they'd visit. other kids have parents that visit. i always wish they could watch me direct or see me singing in the choir, or meet my friends, or take me out for lunch or anything else... but instead, i get to meet my friends' parents and bite back wishes that mine didn't always have to work so hard.

if you can't tell, i'm in a bit of a mood. whatever. i'm gonna take a shower, pop two pills, and turn on some soft classical music to sleep to.


peace & much love to ya.