naia. twenty. african-american. bronx born. harlem raised. random. preacher's kid. hyperempathist. aspiring designer.
co-founder of ORIGIN8TY9INE. renovative. messy neat freak. spiritual. extroverted introvert. bookworm. talkative. asshole.
gospel rapper. in love with love. writer & poet. imaginocreative. something like a singer. high quality example of intelligent design. mp3/internet/cell phone junkie. macs are evil. fragile heart. tough shell. txt msg'r. therapist. introspective. overprotective. night owl.
i'm not a player, i just crush a lot?

Saturday, October 11, 2008

longerdayslongernights.

my chest hurts.

do you know that you can have a heart attack and never know it? i think i have cardiac arrhythmia - that's when your heart can't beat on rhythm. i think it's also called a heart murmur, but that could be something different. either way, my chest hurts and it feels like it's beating weird. i hope i'm not dying, lol.

i miss Kevin a whole lot. sometimes (like now, when i have too much time to think), i feel like i miss him way more than he misses me, think about him way more than he thinks about me. who knows? with his phone off now, things just got harder, at least for me.

i have a hole in my sock. i also waste a lot of money. i have less than my comfortable threshold in the bank right now, and i need a way to make money. being broke is not cutting it.

my birthday is on the 20th. i as thinking about celebrating, but i can't think of a single thing that i really ant to do, except go home and see everyone. this is gonna be my very first birthday away from home. i also want to shop, but, like i said, i have very little money left, and i like to have discretionary funds so that in case anything happens (like my charger PHAILING or that i need new headphones), i can do it, no questions asked. i like that power and the less money i have, the less of that power i have. suckssss.

my chest doesn't hurts as much anymore. i think i had gas.

i really miss him, though. can you tell him that for me? thanks.



peace.

1 comment:

Adina Renée. said...

i have a heart murmur too, hun.
shit's not fun at all.